Monday, May 26, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Sorry about not e-mailing yesterday, things get crazy sometimes. All things considering, I'm doing ok; I at least think I'm realizing the reason behind things more.
It was SO SAD leaving Alkmaar. That hurt worse than literally anything I've ever felt in my life out here. Didn't help that I then was thrown into a world completely opposite from the one I had left. I could go on and on about why this place is so different, but that be a bit much so I'll just list a few:
- Parallel Parking is the WORST! I have never been able to do it and it still holds true in Europe. And living in a big city like this, parallel parking is the ONLY option...it's just really embarrassing I guess, but it drives me up the wall.
- The work is so different here. Everything I've learned about missionary work up till this point just got thrown out the window because it simply just doesn't work here (I've tried). I'm having to rethink things.
I've been realizing though, I think that's the point. Once again Heavenly Father has knocked away every single one of my support pillars and is remolding me. It's so difficult, but I endure because I know in the end it will be good.
The missionaries here have lost a little hope, we need to figure out how to connect, but I'm just meeting them :), many have just seemed to have kind of given up and it's a lot to take on all at once. I can't imagine how I'd be if the Lord wasn't with me. I also know that's why I was sent here. It's time to make some changes like what we were able to develop before, we were happy, we were friends and the work wasn't a burden. The members were involved, helping and at least willing to try.
Monday, May 12, 2014
I got transferred to Rotterdam with Elder C. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Luckily Elder C is a great guy and an amazing missionary so he'll be able to drag me around while I'm getting over Alkmaar. Not only that but it's kind of cool because this is where Elder Mathis served as a Zone Leader so I'm following in my daddies footsteps on that one.
Drama moment! Big cities and me don't mix. I've known that and have been hearing it since high school. I remember vividly on the New York trip I think Dylan asked me "Moose, where do you want to live again?" I responded in a smaller place, definitely not a big city and he said "Good. Cause it'd probably eat you alive." I mean it was all a joke and everything but it was based on truth!
|We had it good. These two Elder became great friends.|
Well I could say more but I don't really have zin (desire is the closest translation) to do that. So I'm just going to pray, read my scriptures, serve the zone with all my heart.
I don't like change. I know it's necessary, but I hate going through it.
Sorry the e-mail isn't uplifting, you guys deserve better but I just can't write any more or I'm going to start crying all over again and I'm in public....so that'd be awkward haha.
Just know that I love you all and that it's going to be ok, it always is. This wound is just deep so it's going to take a little time to heal, kind just how it goes. LOVE YOU! Hope you all have a great week this week and that things keep falling into place.
Well I just read Dad's e-mail and I kept the e-mail open in case I got more zin to write.
Dad said something interesting in his e-mail about the Lord giving me this opportunity to prove to myself if my eye truly is single to His glory, in other words- will I work as hard, give as much, do everything I did here… in Rotterdam? A place that is the complete opposite from here (according to Elder Chantry, that's where he was before he was here)
The answer is- of course I will. I want to do everything the Lord asks, that's why I do everything that I do. Sounds right? It is right, it just doesn’t always feel that way. The other reason for the title of the e-mail was the other thing that's been on my mind recently- how real the world is.
For example: Another hard thing is knowing at some time, in my life, my heart is going to get broken again when I find out someone here has left the church or given up trying, it is the worst pain I've EVER felt. After an investigator is baptized Satan hits them with everything he's got and they often go inactive here and fall away from the church.
I had a realization the other day that started all this. Out here we talk a lot about getting investigators to feel the Spirit and to gain a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and that somehow if they can just get that everything will fall into place. False! A testimony means nothing if there is not action involved. And that's the problem here and I’m sure everywhere.
Frankly stated, many people can't and don't want to live the standards of the gospel (members or not). I will forever be impressed with anyone who is an active member out here despite any of their flaws because it can be a rough road. But I love them and I am so anguished when anyone falls. It all comes from love of the people and the gospel, but it tears at my heart to leave this city and these people I love so much, knowing some will fall and I won't be here to help.
Good thing I'm an optimist right? Otherwise this would be a really depressing e-mail. Guess I'm just having a hard time right now, but it'll pass- it always does. Just endure. Cling to the knowledge, experiences and moments I've had before to keep me going until the next one. Love you all :)
Monday, May 5, 2014
|The mysterious island|
|These 5 Elder were in the MTC together and arrived in the Netherlands together.|
|Reunited for awile...Elder Cooper and Elder Bishop|
|Everyone needs a picture in the shoes!|
|What an AMAZING group of Missionaries!|